Truth?!

I am unsure whats the main reason of me being more and more negative recently.Probably because of the course i am studying which never stop drilling into my mind the extent of human evilness in achieving his own goal.

i have totally opposite views on many aspects(such as politics,family etc).Well,maybe because all of the sudden i realized that life is not like fairy tales anymore.No Hello Kitty or Keropi dancing around me when i am happy/sad.And no prince charming on white horse running towards me when i need help.

In one of Weber's theory,he stated that human beings love and hate the truth.WE never stop seeking for truth as a students(our eagerness to know more and more) but at the same time we fear the truth.After knowing the truth,we feel disappointed that this world is not longer red and rosy.We hated the truth which make our life miserable, never stop regulating all our actions-what we can do and what we cant.

This make sense,doesn't it?But who came out with these truths?Famous scholars? Traditions? or the Media? Someone once said that something will be true no matter how absurd it is, as long as the media and majority of the people say/think it is.Another person once told me that,as long as you have power and money;you will be the person who decide the truth!

Holiday Mood

It's holiday time,and i am suppose to be happy and relaxed.Somehow,i am NOT.I am down with flu.It's torturous!I feel drowsy and sleepy after medication which affect my plan for each day.I am not happy, i dont know how long my body takes to fight the virus.

After so long,i'm stil having exam dream which cause me bad headache every morning.Ergh...i do not wish to complain but this is really upsetting.

Draft 1-Railway Romanzo

It was a windy night,i was sitting on my make-up table starring at my own reflection.i heard a sigh.My own sigh. It has been very long,too long..that i have not looked at myself throughly.I have gave up myself for too long, i whispered to myself as i sighed again.I lifted up my hands and caressed my face,i could feel the lines beside my eyes,its like the train track at the city hall.The bumpiness on the railway always make my heart jump especially the first time i stepped on the train.I could still remember vividly the anxiety i had,looking out the train like a meerkat watching for predators.
Indeed, a predator came.A handsome one which took my heart away from my body for the longest time.It wasn't meant to be like this,it was supposed to be a happily ever after like Cinderella and the prince charming without a white horse(replaced by the high speed train).
As i looked at his picture,all the memories flowed back without much effort.I remembered his huge arms lifting me up when i fell on the train.It was an embarrassing yet quixotic scene.We were so near when i finally managed to stand up,and i could feel him; breathing on my forehead.A warm and compassionate breath which evaporate in the air within seconds.I could smell his cologne,a typical mens' smell which signify their superiority over the women.Our eyes locked for the first time as if we're the only creatures in this world.I miss that moment terribly, the only moment where i could feel the rush of my blood as my adrenaline glads increased the pumping of my heart .
(to be continue)

Sick :(

I feel sooo sick..Not happy :(
I want to eat,i want to play!!!!!

Hat Yai,Thailand

Spent 2 days in Thailand,shop at the market like OH BA SANG trying to bargain with the Thais.Some are quite friendly,some are quite fierce.I do not blame them for scolding+cursing us,they are just trying to make some money to feed their family.But still,i bargained like mad woman so that i wont be called "water fish",since their mark-up price is very high.Looking back,i feel quite bad for not giving them the extra 1or 2 dollars .Shopping there was quite interesting, but everybody was quite grumpy and tired.
Bullets were flying everywhere which indicate the unwillingness and irritation of trying to accommodate everybody with some touch of unintended exchange of words with loved ones which many regret after the trip.Well,thts the difference btw family and friends.Family don't hold grudges against each other and ready to tolerate with each other no matter what.

It was an eye opening experience,and i feel v.sad for the young girls who have to sell their body to meet their needs.Looking at them which are at my age following some old uncles in and out of the hotel break my heart.Their unwillingness showed in their gloomy eyes,who knows what's the story behind these eyes?

Inadvertently ,i thought of someone.There are some truths out there which i do not dare to discover.That night in Thailand,i kept my mind busy trying to imagine the worst .The thought of it made my body tremble and drained my tears.I should learn to be more relaxed,to accept things that will come and not to worry so much COZ it only make my life more miserable.

The End

Bad dream

Another bad dream..What else but about exam!!!

4th day in KL

Glad that i am back in KL safely...too much news about death these few days that make me feel that life is just like a wine glass,fragile and breakable although it may be made of crystal.
I start to imagine myself to be in their situation,what will come into my mind when i catch my last breath?
Will it be like in the movie where there's a flashback on the good and bad deeds that i did?
or it will be a moment of pain where i'll be half conscious?
I dont know,there is no certain answer for how it will be like before you die unless you experience it yourself.
Choi?!
I am glad to be alive now,to be able to spend time with my love ones.I am beginning to cherish people ard me more,as i do not know when will i leave this world or vice versa.Think about all these always bring me to tears,there is no one that i wan to "goodbye" to (even the dog). hmm..maybe i should not write abt this at all,its too depressing.Should have relax and think of something else than to think of something that no one can change except HIM.

Goign back?

I will be leaving again tomorrow...leaving?or shall i say going back tomorrow.Somehow i always have this weird feeling going back home.I am happy on one side but worry+fear on the other side.I am beginning to feel tired of this kind of life.Going back and forth and now knowing where is my real home.Sometimes i just wish that everybody can stay in the same place and i can see everyone without taking 5 hrs bus.

It is happy when i can spend more time with mum, sis ,L and some of my old frens , but its sad to be back again to face the cruel reality of my family.I can never run away from it unless i disown my family(is there such a thing?),which is impossible.So,i just hope that i can be more brave and tougher this time.

Hmm.leaving is hard.After having so much fun together with A doing all kind of crazy stuffs together,i feel sad to leave knowing that she'll be alone with P.Dont know why this time i feel more nostalgic than before.Maybe becoz we're now closer to each other and we've been spending more time together during the semester :( Also, A has to leave to a new place which may give her more $$ and freedom nxt sem.I feel a bit sad not becoz of the Free ride or the free lunch,or the FOC printing BUT its the company and the laughter in the car and office which i will miss terribly.

Went for long Christmas shopping today,it was fun and tiring.The happiest thing is to be able to get $10 tshirt for the new sem.yeah..my favorite colour somemore.song-nye!

No one can predict what will happen in the future,no matter wat i just hope that everyone that i love will be happy. I do not know why but i always have this strange feelings everytime i take bus home.Maybe i'm thinking too much,but i hope that those ppl that i love know that i care for them and love them dearly.

I am survival

End of exam!! so so happy...At least i am still alive!

Blank

Staring at all these notes
that i had to squeeze into my tiny brain,
My soul departed from my weak body,
I see myself in a place where i can smell and see the nature,
a place where i can smile and shout my heart out.

I am depress,it seems that all my hard work had gone into the drain,
My heart turned sour,i am beginning to give up,
Why? Am i not good enough?
Who can i blame but myself, a loser

2 more to go

2 papers down,
2 more to go .

I have to say that the previous 2 papers were disastrous.I dont expect any good grades for this semester.
*My hope has just been flushed down the toilet bowl.

Countdown

3 more days to the scary exam hall:

01-Thurs
05-Friday
08-Tues
09-Wed

Disenchanted

Another day which full of disappointment- i dont feel like talking and wan to be alone.

In the sea of people,
i picture myself to be the most sorry one,
it is a feeling of self-pity,yes i know
but i cant help it but to feel that way.

Disappointment filled my soul
as i slowly walked thru the graves of the dead sociologists,
somehow i am giving up,no point trying anymore,
it doesn't give me any feeling of gratification but
a sense of hopelessness in this world.

Although deep down i know HE has a purpose,
to put me here and let me struggle like an infant trying to grasp its first breath,
but, i am beginning to psycho myself that it's a the wrong path from the start.

I wan to let go,i wan to leave.
I may regret one day but now,i just cant stand the pressure!

sad :(

I dont understand why did i do badly in my assignments.It was bad,i am utterly disappointed with the grades.hmm..I cant do anything about it now.
Am i giving myself too much pressure?
It's just BAD,SO BAD!!! Stupid.

Sicko family

Everyone is down with flu+fever-unbelievable!!!

*Who wants some peanut butter??FOC

Kitty catty

Another day with all the cats(black,fat and blind)..somehow i love them more and more.Since their mummy is not here,they knock on my door everynite for a pat.It's cute and irritating at the same time.I feel like a nanny looking after all these cats,and they are not embarrass to come in my room,sit below my chair or even jump on my table for some love.Sometimes they will even "talk" to you(but i cant understand their language-only their mummy knows what they really want)
Well,well..looking at all these cats make me laugh at myself.Their silly actions entertain me in this stressful and hectic moment.


*This is Mini-not so mini afterall. He was clinging on my arm in this pic while i was studying so that i could rub his face. "Shiok".He should be called 'Biggie' since he has a round+big tummy hanging below his chest.He's the one my aunt and i picked from the school,half-dead but now superlly active and naughty(always pick up fight with the blind cat).

#Ok .End of story.Time to work........................

Nostalgisch

Looking at Sharon's blog make me feel nostalgic of those times where i can write and read freely.Those were the days where i can write without fear,without the feeling of being judge by anyone.It may sound funny but i wish that i can be a writer someday.This is my dream,it seems absurd to many (even myself )but thats what i wish to be.It may not come true but at least ,i can have the privilege to imagine myself as one in my own little world.
Someone once told me "A person without a dream is like a living corpse".
I was once a living corpse, without any dreams nor aims in life.I sighed when i see the sun in the morning.I wanted so much to be like snow white without a prince so that i could sleep and never wake up.

Life was meaningless back then, but now life is full of love and hope...

**Back to work..to be continue

R.U.N

Striving hard for my final exam.....

Apple of the day

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away"

Today is a happy day for me.Unexpectedly,i got my first apple(although it's not a full "A"pple) after spending most of my time munching on tons of readings.
I was feeling sick this morning when i woke up but that apple really cheer me up after the lecture .To many, it's NO BIG DEAL but to me,i am over the top coz at last,i can prove to myself that I CAN DO IT and i feel motivated to strive for more apples!

Well,maybe not overly confident.Nway,i will do my best and hope for the best for the final exam.That apple doesn't weight that much for my final grade,just happy that i got it after struggling for 1 long year in uni.Yeah yeah!

**Assignment time..................................

Free?!

Just that when i thought that i can relax a bit,i realized that my final exam is just around the corner.I still have one assignment to finish and a lot of readings to catch up!!
I do not know what to do,how am i suppose to plan for my revision ....this is a bad omen.

My mind refuse to catch up with the hectic schedule although i wanted to finish it badly.
My eye hurt everytime i blink as if there are knifes below my eyelids
This is really bad,i feel tired and exhausted.

Melancholy

“Maybe if I share the path I walk, i will feel less pain and there will be a day, where the pain will vanish.

I want it to heal; I don't care what it takes. I cannot live on misery or worry anymore. I want to devote my life to seek for my dreams, a dream with hope and happiness.

Maybe worries are good sign, it shows that I am still emotionally attached to that person even though I never stop denying him.

I wonder how it will be when I am totally numb to his actions and no longer care about his life or death. Although it sounds inhuman, but I hope that day will come to end all my suffering” **Fanky Boy

Noji

We are mold by the hands of God,
Each of us as a unique creature
in his work of art.

No one is similar,
Even twins,behave differently,
Each one of us has our own imperfections,
Some admit it and some don't.

Loving someone is
accepting all the flaws,
its hard but its possible,
we complain,
we fight,
we swear,
but deep down,
i know you're always there.

Endure

Time flies...exam is coming soon!!

sianz..

I love reading my story books,but i dont even have time to finish all my articles for coming exam.I am so busy with my assignments,my brain is cracking trying to think of what to write and how to fill up that 2K space.This is study life-how am i suppose to enjoy life like this?Everyday i feel like i am sitting on a turbo roller coaster which speed up within seconds.I never stop chasing after time -no relaxing moment for me to actually reflect on myself or to enjoy myself.Its just work,work and also work--never ending work.

What is life to you? Sometimes i wonder why are people working so hard? To be the slave of Gucci and Prada?
I do not know the answer , i am now chasing after Marx and Weber.I never stop learning about them and trying to know what are they thinking just like a guy chasing after a girl.The different is that,i am chasing after their knowledge and their skills but not their love.And,i don't need to try to impress them.

Ok i am writing rubbish ... 10 min break from my assignment is over.

Bad day?

Today is a bad day for me.Dont ask me why,i dont know.Somehow i just wan to be alone and spend my saturday without opening my mouth or entertaining anyone.

Bad day :(

Why?Where will i be?

Looking at my friends, graduating from school one by one-i cant help it but to feel left out from the crowd(my cohort) .Soon,i will be hearing wedding bells ringing ,a sign of new couples dedicating themselves to each other to the public.
It seems like i am so 'slow' in everything.How?
I cant slow down the tickling of the clock,I cant stop the world from going on just becoz of me-
i have no idea what will my future be......
Where can i go? What am i going to do?When will i get married?
Too much uncertainty,too complicated!
It is not the time to think about all these,it is better for me to spend more time on Marx and try to finish my assignment! I know,but i cant help it but to ponder on all these........
There is NO turning back in some of the decisions i have made.Yes i know!
But,it is not easy if you are on my shoes.
The frustration,insecurity,anguish..............................

**Age was nothing when you were a little girl;but when you are being put in a position where you're surrounded by many young ,active, vibrant girls-automatically,you will start to feel old and start to ask yourself why are you here

“Marx was wrong; jealousy and pride, emotional forces, are just as responsible as hunger and necessity for our actions; they explain the whole of History, and the initial fall of man.

--
Eugene Ionesco quotes

Read Read and Read....

"It is better to read a little and ponder a lot than to read a lot and ponder a little."
<sup>-Denis Parsons Burkitt

** What i am doing now is to read a lot and ponder v.little.I am like a hamster running on its wheel,trying to finish the impossible amt of readings i have!This is disaster!!!!!!</sup>

Humans

I am drowning myself in the sea where the souls of different philosophers live.Learning about their masterpiece and trying to picture myself being one of them fighting against the norms.It is hard and gives me headache everytime i try to think of ways to resolve inequality among the people esp in my mother country .Marx best explanation of the world is by the use the "dialectic process" by Hegel.He boldly state that there is no best solution in this world.The best solutions for this period of time will be another vicious problems in the future.It shows how amazing and unique human beings are( even twins have different characteristics and behaviors,ok side track a bit).But, if we think about it,human beings are really interesting.

To be continue....

Yeppie!

Bought a nice sandal and took the last test.Happy Happy-but now i am facing a big problem with my assignment!! ERGHH....hope tht i can finish it tonite.i am going crazy..!!Another assignment(MARX) has been posted online tis afternoon.I dont know how am i suppose to cope with so many assignments.
So much work,so little time!
Crazy!!!!

upcoming event..

Last paper today,then i can fully concentrate on my 05 assignment.Still not sure what i am going to do on that assignment.hmmm....waiting for some advices.
Going back this friday ,happy although i've to bring my work home to do.Well,at least i can have a short break.

I hate it

I hate being a combination of myope and astig,
I hate the feeling of helplessness when i open my eyes in the morning,
I hate to be overly dependent on the 2 little black windows rested on my nose,
I hate to stick my face on the mirror when i need to put on my eyes shadow,
I hate it,i hate it!

I hate the feeling of vulnerability,
I hate to feel the tight fingers against my ears,
I hate to be heavy-headed after the celebration,
I hate to imagine myself being deaf,
i hate it ,i hate it and i hate it!

Countdown

Counting down to the special day-my birthday.
Somehow it doesn't feel as good as i expected.Maybe becoz of the heavy workload and the coming test.
My peers seem to be handling it quite well,tests assighments,presentations and etc etc.
Not sure why am i so stress up,its been giving me sleepless nites which frustrate me.

OR maybe becoz a i've lost count of my age after 21.So,its just another ordinary day.

Not sure what's the main reason.I just know that i need a good rest tonite!

**Found this very cute cupcakes with a candle.
So sweet.

Non-stop working

Things left to be done before semester break:

1. Revision for 05 test
   
2. 208 summary
3. 205 assignment

Things to do during semester break;

1. Complete all the readings esp 09 and 01
2. Expand 05 and 09 assignments
   

Stressss

“Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness”
Richard Carlson quotes

Cuppy cakes!

I wan I wan!!

I want this Birthday cake!!!! So Cute!

*i am obsess with cakes!!

My future wedding cake !

Cup Cakes & Snow White

"These pretty cup cakes remind me of the beautiful world,where snow white and seven dwarfs exist"

The icing is sweet,
the skin is hard,
with a quick bite,
you'll get to the soft fluffy part,
which will give you a delightful smile.

Eye on Malaysia..Here i come

Tortoise,Go Go Go.

I cant help it but to feel like a tortoise .I am not trying to be pessimistic here,but i really do feel that i am slow in everything(assighments,readings and even the completion of my course).
I want to get rid of all these foolish thoughts out of my mind by telling myself that i am actually buying time to be dependent of my family eventhough i am not young anymore.
Taking about age-Bird-day coming,and all these thoughts never stop haunting me every now and then which make me feel really uneasy.Dont know how to explain it but i need to learn to live it no matter how uncomfortable i am everytime i think of it.I need a relaxing break to rejuvenate myself!
After reading tons of Marx's works,i wonder why are we(human species) so hard on ourself - work and study.In a way we are not making full use of human capablity because we are too constraint by exams,wages,rules and etc.
As material goods multiply in the market,humans will never stop working their butt off to meet their desire .This explain why ppl are working almost 20 hrs/day just to buy prada and gucci handbags.Our self actualization are now being externalized and can only be obtained by purchasing material goods which we cannot bring with us when we die.
Is it worth it?

Work,work and work

Drowning in my readings and assighments.
*i think i need a float to keep me alive!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mix feelings

i will be seeing my friends after a long break .....i do not whether i should be feeling happy or sad .Happy to be back in school,new semester-new beginning of my life.But,at the same time,i am feeling kind of gloomy thinking of the standard questions that everyone will ask "How's ur result?" bla..bla..bla

Birthday?!

Today is F's birthday(24July),M called early in the morning and asked me to send F a greeting sms .I saw F this morning before i went out with friends,as usual,nothing was said-not even a nod.I chose to ignore his existence to protect myself from being hurt again.After all the miserable battled between love and hatred,I couldn't bring myself to forgive and forget.

Unknown

"Every heart has its secret sorrows which the world cannot see"

Silent grief

"Tears are the silent language of grief"

My Masterpiece-Fiction

I stared at him as his body rested on the hospital bed. He had aged so much, I thought. I could see lines around his eyes and his dropped cheek which make him look like a rooster. He looked like other ordinary old man lying around him, but no one would have guessed what he has done before he slept soundly on the bed with tubes and machines to keep him alive.

“Where is the strong wicked man? ‘I thought. Suddenly, all the memories came back uninvited…………

This man had tortured me emotionally and physically. I could remember vividly how his huge hand slapped my right face which forced me to land on the floor. I was 10 years old back then, and I was playing happily with my Barbie doll in the living room. My dad came back from casino with pungent smell of alcohol. He lost quite a lot of money, as I could hear him asking money from mum. Mum refused and they started yelling at each other fiercely. Before I knew it, a gigantic hand pulled me up from the floor and gave me deafening slap on my right face. The impact of the slap was so powerful; I flew towards the kitchen which was 20 meters from the living room.

I couldn’t feel anything or hear a word when I landed on the floor, lying against the fridge. I didn’t know how things started to turn bad. Mum ran towards me with tears on her face. I could see her panic reaction as her hands were shaking when she placed it on my face. Her pale face and teary eyes scared me. Suddenly, it was a dead silent and I passed out.

I woke up in the hospital; I didn’t know how long I have been sleeping. Mum wasn’t around, strangers were everywhere. My heart was pumping fast, I was filled with anxiety. I went down the bed and started to cry while searching for my mum. A lady in white came to me, she carried me on her arms and put me back on the bed. She was trying to tell me something as I could see her lips moving but I couldn’t hear anything. I struggled around her arms and tried to scream for my mum, but nothing came out.

Why? What has happened? Why can’t I talk? I used all my strength to try to set myself free. “I want my mum, where is my mum. Let me go!?” screamed my heart. More white ladies came, I didn’t know how many of them. They pulled me down on the bed and a man with mustache injected something in the tube on my hand. Within seconds, everything in front of me was blurring and I lost consciousness.

After a few days in the hospital, I realized that my right eardrum has torn due to the solid slap by my dad .I had to carefully use my left ear to listen. One of the white ladies, Ms Betty told me that my mum has gone to heaven with God. Dad killed her when she tried to call the police to help me. Our neighbor, Mr Smith heard mum screaming for help and he called 911.When the police arrived, mum was lying beside me, struggling to stay alive. She was certified dead on the way to the hospital. Dad was not at home when the policemen broke into the house. He was arrested in Uncle Bill’s house. Uncle Bill lived just behind the street. He used to come to our house and never fail to bring me green ice cream with vanilla flavor from the grocery stores around the corner. He was a huge man with long black beard. He has a big tattoo on his arms and a big scar on his face which made him look like a pirate.

Dad was charged with manslaughter and child abuse.He was detained by the police and would be sentence after his hearing. Ms Betty told me that the policemen had enough evidence to charge him under the law. I was devastated when I heard what she said. I hated my dad but sending him to prison meant that I would be alone since mum is with God. Where can I go?

Ms Betty sensed my grief. She placed her arms around me to assure that everything would be under control. I was horrified; I didn’t expect all these to happen. The last words I heard from my parents were their argument. I want my mummy back; I would promise her to be a good girl and finish my cereal every morning.

I was discharged from the hospital and sent to a foster home. There were a lot of children in the house. We were taught to read and write in the house by our foster mother ,Ms Ann. Ms Ann was a tall lady with oval shape face. The children in the house called her giraffe because of her tall body and long neck. I tried my best to behave myself in the house so that I would be accepted by Ms Ann. She reminded me of my mum, especially when she put her hands on her hips and yelled at the kids. Every week, all the children would be dressed nicely. There would be couples coming to the house to visit us. Those who were interested in adopting any of us would inform Ms Ann for arrangement.

Five years has passed. I was still in foster home. A lot of my friends have been adopted. I was sad to see them leaving one by one.

One Sunday morning, the phone rang loudly and woke me up. Ms Ann was making pancakes in the kitchen as I could smell the aroma of margarine. I imagined her running towards the phone, rubbing her hands on the apron and lifting up the receiver. “Yes, bingo!” My timing was right. Ms Ann was on the phone. I walked slowly down the stairs and tried to listen to Ms Ann’s conversation.

Ms Ann hung up and ran towards me. She gave me a stiff hug and asked me to change. “Where are we going? Aren’t we suppose to wait for the parents today?” asked my heart. I didn’t dare to ask Ms Ann as she was busy in the kitchen. I went up and changed to my favorite pink dress with a beige ribbon at the back. As I was choosing the socks, Ms Ann called me nervously to come down.

I went down timidly as I had no idea what was going on. I saw a policewoman in her uniform talking to Ms Ann. I was afraid, what did I do wrong? Ms Ann put her hands on my shoulder and pushed me towards the policewoman as I was sobbing quietly. The policewoman brought me to her car. Before we went in the car, she rubbed my hand gently and told me not to be afraid. She assured me that I didn’t do anything against the law and I wasn’t going to jail.

I was relieved but my heart was still tumbling fast. “Here we are! Come, let’s go down”. Before I knew it, we had arrived. I looked up the tall white building. I was at ease when I found out that I was in the hospital and not police station. The policewoman led me to a counter. She was saying something to the nurse (white lady).I couldn’t hear a word from their conversation. “Room 114” said the nurse abruptly. I was puzzled as we walked towards room 114 led by the nurse.

99…100…110…111…my heart was counting the room numbers. Anxiety filled my heart once again. “Here we are” said the policewoman. I moved my stiff neck up and saw someone on the bed. 2 policemen were standing beside the patient covered with white blanket. I couldn’t see the face, who is that?

Without warning, the patient turned his body, facing the ceiling. To my horror, it was my dad. It was him! My body stiffen, I was dumb shocked. Millions of questions filled me, but none came out from my mouth. In a split second, I thought I was dreaming, isn’t he suppose to be in jail?

Adidos

He left.....and i am relieve to have him away.There are a lot of questions that are unanswerable in my mind but i think,it's better not to know.

Urticaria (say: ur-tuh-kar-ee-uh)

I was sitting here happily doing my homework when i realised that there are reddish patches on my face!!!!! ERGH..I am breaking out in "map" again!!!I hate it,hate it, hate it!I hope that it remain as small as Singapore and not US.I never eat crabs,prawns or any seafood.Why am i having this stupid bumpy thing on my face!I am suffering,it's so itchy.I feel like rubbing it with salt to stop the irritation.

Well,some information on hives(or urticaria)-->easier term is"map"
When a person is exposed to something that can trigger hives, certain cells in the body release histamine (say: his-tuh-meen) and other substances. This causes fluid to leak from the small blood vessels under the skin. When this fluid collects under the skin, it forms the blotches, which we call hives.The conclusion is,i need anti-histamine badly to reduce the itchiness!It's flaring up, and i feel as if there are thousand of ants crawling on my face.

SAD!

New Banner

Hey Hey Hey...
I spent whole day trying to upload my new banner.So nice!!!
Well,i am trying to make this space as nice as possible so that i can come here more often and write more to improve myself..Hmmm....hope this helps!

Well,it is quite hard to write something personal here.It takes a lot of courage to dig out all the pain that you have gone thru and put it on this beautiful column.It's painful when the writting remind you the excruciating details which you wish you can forget.In a way,it's adding salt to your wound which will never have a chance to restore.

I never let go my past,dont i? Yes,i never.I can never let it go because it never stop haunting me.I will let go one day,but that day is yet to come.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Funny But Quite True

Before marriage, she expects a man.
After marriage she suspects him,
And after death she respects him.

There was this guy who told his woman that
He loved her so much that he would go through hell for her.
They got married - and now he is going through hell.
A man put an ad in the classifieds:“wife wanted.
”Next day, he received a hundred letters.
They all said that same thing: “you can have mine.”

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
You can be sure of one thing:Either the car is new or the wife.
It’s easy to tell if a man is married or not.
Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him.
If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.

A man received a letter from some kidnappers.
The letter said,“If you don’t promise to send us $100,000,
I swear that we will kidnap your wife”
The poor man wrote back,
“I am afraid I can’t keep my promise but I hope you keep yours.”

Banning China maids

I came across this article in Star newspaper recently about the banning of China maids by majority of the housewives in Malaysia.The reason for this is the fear of their husband straying away which will wreck their families.

It is intresting to see many housewives wrote to the newspaper ,critising China women and protesting against the government's plan in bringing China maids to Malaysia.But,not much are being said about the unfaithful men.Most of the responsiblity are put on the women, as if their husbands are being forced. What is wrong with our society today?Why do they put the blame on the women while it is clear that men need to be held responsible for their shameful action?

Instead of blaming other women for destroying their families and thinking of ways to avoid any women get close to their husband-why dont they do something more practical to safe their families?When a man wants to fool around,he is willing to spend thousand of dollars and travel to the other parts of the world to get mistresses .Thus,it is illogical to stop China women from coming in Malaysia to earn for their living .We should be sympathetic over the challenging condition of these women in China due to the high population there.Instead of helping,we shattered their dreams of working here due to the insecurity of many housewives and men's lust.

All the claims made by the housewives tarnish the reputation of many responsible and loyal men-Also , it shows the insecurity and selfishness of the housewives which do not think about others but themselves.

It is undenieable that some women from China came over to look for sugar daddy to support their living.But,we should not stigmatise all China women just because of some bad apples which abuse the system.