Feelign unstable...trying to reflect on myself after i've received my test results.Somehow i dont feel good knowing that i didnt get what i expected.I am now moving further and further away from the goal i set for myself.
I'm not sure why do i have such aim .Does it really guarantee and better job?I cannot see the future,how far my expected result will bring me.Maybe it will not make a difference in my future.I guess, i am just tryign to prove that i can do it while i cant.I wish to depend on myself to achieve what i want,and the reality has showed that its not possible and i've been dreaming all along.
Effort does not correlate with result.Many things were playing through my mind while i was in the bus.Somehow,"self pity" appeared and i started to think negatively.I blamed myself for not possesing a good writting skills,i blamed myself for being so stupid,i blamed myself for everything non-stop.Yes,who else can i blame?I'm provided with all the neccessary things to study,books,tables,lamp,chairs,highlighter and even paper tray!
It's hard,it's harder than i thought it would be to put down my ego and to convince myself to just do my best and hack care about the result.
I know,its stupid.Maybe 5 years later,when i read my entry, i will laugh at myself for being so dumb to dwell over the stupid tests.It's more stupid to make it affect me untill i have no mood to do my assignment.It's not that i do not want to do,i 've lost the confidence that i've been working hard on.I do not dare to start writtign anything formal, it's driving me crazy.
Friday 14 March 2008
Monday 10 March 2008
Malaysia has decided...
(http://www.channelnewsasia.com/imagegallery/specialreport/phpIDU3i8.jpg)It was a shocking yet happy event for many Malaysia.One of my 'best friends' lost his state , sad for him but happy for the people!! YOU deserve it!!! I didn't vote for any but i was delighted knowing that Malaysians are more involved in politics.Either out of emotion or whatever, it's a wake up call for many not to take things for granted.
IS it good,or bad? Will it lead to the 13 May?
There is not answer for this.
Will the opposition do a good job to prove that they're worth the votes?
We'll just wait and see....
IS it good,or bad? Will it lead to the 13 May?
There is not answer for this.
Will the opposition do a good job to prove that they're worth the votes?
We'll just wait and see....
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